i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
