we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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