Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
