dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
