So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize