She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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