let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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