I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize