I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
