wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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