I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I am spending my child support on dildos
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
