even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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