It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
