sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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