fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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