Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
