I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
