My hand turned me down
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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