just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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