Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize