I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
