it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
