So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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