Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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