so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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