no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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