8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
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