can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
