I will die if light touches me.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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