Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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