yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
