Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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