I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize