Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
