I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
