ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
