He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
