"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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