I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
