Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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