Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
