ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
