She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
