I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
