I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
