did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
