so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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