You're so nebulous sometimes
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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