just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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