Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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