ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
