Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize