somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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