Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
