I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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