I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
only you would photoshop your dick
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
