i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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