I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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