i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize