He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
