Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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