He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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