even my farts smell like vagina
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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