Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
