True but thats because hes a fetus.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize