So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
