There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
