you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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