no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize